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You're not hard to love

Have you ever felt like you're hard to love? That no one quite understands the emotional side to you? That no matter how much you try to open up, there's always some part of you that wants to stay closed off? Well you're not hard to love.. you're just done getting hurt. You know that analogy when parents say "they will never know not to go near the hot stove if they don't get burned once" well that's you, except you've been burned one to many times and instead of not going near the stove, you avoid it all together. That's how you are with your feelings. If you don't open up, you can't get hurt right? Now that may seem like a logical explanation, but what happens when the door to your heart is closed off to your significant other? Not everyone was hurt by love, but most people were in their own way. A good way to talk to your s/o about this is to bring up how they handled their heartache. Whether it was a break up, a pet passing away or even losing a loved one, everyone deals with pain differently. I personally tend to be closed off and don't like to talk about it. However, I have recently come to the conclusion; that is not the best way to handle things. As much as people want to believe talking to your s/o should be super easy and comfortable, it's not. Realistically it's awkward, how do you bring up something that's bothering you without it escalating to someone saying you are too hard to handle? I like to write things down, write a letter to the person you want to talk to about the topic at hand. This way you can clearly see your thoughts and get your point across without getting side tracked or distracted by them gaslighting you in any way. Talking about how something makes you feel is often weird because you don't know if it's an actual issue or if it's just you who finds it odd, and that often can lead to fights with others. I've always been told to trust your gut instinct, and 9/10 times it's right on the money. If something or someone is making you feel uncomfortable, address it, don't let it drag on and have it continue to cause stress in your everyday life. You are most definitely NOT hard to love, you just tend to feel more than most people do. You have a big heart and that means more room for heartache. The best thing to do is talk it out and find a way to work together. It's never okay to sit back and continue to do something for the sake of someone else's feelings. If you feel the need to shelter someone from yourself, maybe you're not meant to have that person in your life. You are much more resilient than you think, don't ever let someone take that away!


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