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How far are you willing to go?

How can you love someone who isn't happy with you? A relationship isn't always 50/50. Sometimes you have to take the weight off your partner if they are not having a good day, or week, or month, but how are you supposed to love someone when they never give you a chance to heal from all that carrying? For better or for worse is what's used when you get married, but not many people don't understand the "for worse" part. People are so quick to point the finger when you're not the same way you were 2 years ago. They assume you have an attitude or that you're "not yourself anymore". It's hard to figure out who you want to be when someone is constantly breathing down your neck trying to make you into their version of a good person. When you're in a relationship and the other person says "they aren't happy" usually that's a sign of things to come. Now most people try to fix it together and see what they each can do to better themselves and the relationship. However, some point the finger and assign blame to one party in order to make themselves feel better, and the other party is left to pick up the pieces and change to fit into the box that their s/o created for you. Now a relationship is a two way street, but occasionally you get a one way street and that leads to compromise.. do we continue one at a time or turn around a find another way? Or do we abandon ship all together and go back to where we started? I've learned in my past experience that no one is perfect, and people will have to compromise in order to be happy, but that's leads me to this question: how far are you willing to go to make someone happy enough to love you? Are you willing to change your views on life? Kids? Work? Politics? Or are you just masking up the way you feel to "fit" into your relationship box? Also, why is it mostly the women who have to do the changing? I mean we change enough in our lives, why can't men show at least some effort in making it work? Men want women to be fun but not to outspoken, skinny but have ass and tits, have a good job but not one better than theirs, be able to bear children but still be a wife to them. However, the most common of all is men want women to "not be so crazy" which is such a loose term to use if you ask me. Women aren't born crazy, they are conditioned that way by the men in their lives. We get so accustomed to being the "ball and chain" that we don't even realize we're not the ones who tie up men to fit our needs, the ball and chain is for us not to step out of line and to have men control us so we can fit their needs. Women are strong, they can do almost anything even while enduring excruciating pain, but the minute we have our own thoughts or ideas that don't suite the criteria of what women should do.. we get torn down and stripped of our humanity and told we're being bitchy, or sluty or whatever name men call us to belittle us into thinking we're not good enough for them, and the only way to become good enough is to change in the ways they seem fit. Society has made us feel so pressured to fit the standards of how a women should behave, that we question ourselves so much in our lives we end up becoming a different version of ourselves to please people. Now not all men are like this, please don't think I'm putting all men into some category to make them out to be monster's because some are good guys who love you for the person you are, but for the most part, men want a women who in their mind check off all the boxes of "perfection". What I'm saying is, don't let someone who may or may not want to be with you suck the life out of you just to have yourself end up a deflated version of the person you once were in order to please a man who isn't willing to change for you. This is a two way street and if you're the only one doing the compromising, maybe it's time to take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is worth it. 💕

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