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Boundaries

Do you ever feel like you go above and beyond for everyone else but there's never enough of that for you? Do you ever feel like when push comes to shove you're not people's first priority, but they expect them to be yours? Setting up boundaries is a good thing, it helps separate things that should be done by you and things that people want to be done by you. You're one person, you are not made to be everyone's go to for all their needs. You need time for yourself, you have to put your health and happiness before others. That being said, I know it's hard to set up boundaries, especially with someone you love. It feels like you're pushing them away, when in reality you're trying to keep them closer. If you always do things for people (even if you don't expect anything in return) you will start to resent them. It will start to feel one sided, like a chore, and eventually you will distance yourself from them. So in order to avoid that, you need to set up some ground rules. Friendship or relationship, parents or co workers, you need to let others know where you stand, what you are willing to do, and when. For starters, set up "down time" where from certain hours of the day no one can ask you for anything. It's your time to unwind and recuperate from the day you had. Second, help others understand that instead of you doing something for them, you are willing to show them or assist them which will also be good since they can learn how to do it themselves and stop asking you. If you're anything like me, you enjoy making people's lives easier in any way you can, but it takes a toll on you, and it stings even more when no one feels they need to reciprocate it. It's tough to set up boundaries, but what's worse is hating the people you love because you didn't. Trust me, they will understand, they will still love you, and you won't feel so drained by the end of the day.


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